Guiding The Young Ones

Tag: emotions

  • Building Strong Relationships with Young Children: The Importance of Attachment

    Building Strong Relationships with Young Children: The Importance of Attachment

    As early years educators, whether you’re a childminder or a nursery practitioner, one of the most important aspects of your role is to create a safe, nurturing and supportive environment for the children in your care. While many parents and caregivers naturally focus on physical needs like feeding, clothing and safety, the emotional needs of children are equally vital for their growth, development and wellbeing.

    At the heart of this emotional support is attachment – the deep emotional bond that forms between a child and their primary caregivers. The quality of these relationships has a significant impact on a child’s overall well-being and development. Understanding and fostering healthy attachment is essential in the early years.

    What is Attachment?

    Attachment refers to the bond that children form with their caregivers, which provides them with a sense of security and safety. This bond is formed through consistent, responsive interactions and builds the foundation for emotional regulation, trust and social development.

    In the early years, children are particularly sensitive to the quality of their relationships. Positive attachment experiences help children feel safe, loved, and understood, which is crucial for their mental, emotional and social development.

    Why Attachment Matters in Early Childhood

    1. Emotional Development: Children who have secure attachments with their caregivers tend to develop strong emotional regulation skills. They learn how to manage their feelings, cope with stress, and express emotions in healthy ways. These children are also better equipped to form positive relationships with others.

    2. Social Skills: Attachment in early childhood lays the groundwork for how children interact with others as they grow. Children with secure attachments are more likely to show empathy, engage in positive social interactions, and develop strong peer relationships.

    3. Cognitive and Language Development: Secure attachment helps create a safe base for exploration and learning. Children who feel secure are more confident in exploring their environment, trying new things, and engaging in cognitive tasks. This exploration and engagement are key drivers of language and cognitive development.

    4. Long-Term Mental Health: A strong attachment bond in the early years can set the stage for healthier mental health outcomes throughout childhood and into adulthood. Children who experience secure attachment are less likely to experience anxiety, depression or behavioural problems.

    How Can Childminders and Nursery Staff Foster Strong Attachments?

    1. Be Consistently Responsive to Children’s Needs: One of the most important ways to foster secure attachment is to be consistently responsive to a child’s physical and emotional needs. Whether it’s offering comfort when a child is upset or providing praise when they achieve something, consistency helps children feel understood and valued.

    • Practical Tip: Respond to verbal and non-verbal cues from the children. If a child reaches out for comfort or needs assistance, try to meet those needs in a calm, caring manner. Over time, this builds trust.

    2. Establish Predictable Routines: Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Creating a predictable and consistent routine helps children feel safe and reduces anxiety. It’s important to provide structure in the daily schedule, but also to remain flexible to the children’s emotional needs.

    • Practical Tip: Create a visual schedule with pictures that children can refer to throughout the day. This helps younger children, especially those who are non-verbal, understand what’s coming next.

    3. Create a Warm and Inviting Environment: Children need to feel emotionally safe in their environment. A warm, inviting atmosphere allows children to explore and learn, knowing that there is a safe haven they can return to when they need it. Your body language, tone of voice and facial expressions play a large role in this.

    • Practical Tip: Use open body language, maintain eye contact, and speak in a soothing tone when interacting with children. A friendly and approachable demeanor invites children to come to you for support.

    4. Offer Comfort and Reassurance: When children are upset or distressed, your ability to offer comfort and reassurance plays a critical role in strengthening the attachment. Whether it’s through a gentle touch, a cuddle or words of encouragement – children need to feel supported during challenging moments.

    • Practical Tip: When a child is upset, kneel down to their level, acknowledge their feelings, and offer reassurance. Simple phrases like, “I see you’re upset, and I’m here to help” go a long way in making children feel safe.

    5. Be Present and Engage: Quality time spent with children is one of the best ways to form secure attachment. Engage in activities that foster connection, such as reading together, playing games, or simply talking and listening to them. Active engagement helps children feel valued and understood.

    • Practical Tip: Get down to the child’s level during playtime and actively participate. Whether it’s building with blocks or drawing, your involvement helps them feel secure and appreciated.

    6. Encourage Emotional Expression: Allowing children to express their emotions in a safe and supportive environment helps them understand their feelings and develop emotional regulation skills. Recognise and validate their emotions, which helps them feel understood.

    • Practical Tip: If a child is feeling sad, angry, or frustrated, encourage them to talk about their feelings. You might say, “It looks like you’re feeling cross. Can you tell me what has happened?” This encourages emotional expression and problem-solving.

    Building strong relationships with young children through attachment is one of the most powerful tools you have as a childminder or nursery practitioner. By being responsive, creating a nurturing environment and fostering emotional security, you’re helping children develop the skills they need for a lifetime of healthy relationships, resilience and emotional well-being.

    Remember, the way we connect with children in their early years has lasting effects and the bonds we create today can positively impact their future development. The children in your care need to feel safe, seen and supported in every way – and as early years educators, you are key to making that happen.

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  • Calm Down Box/Basket

    Calm Down Box/Basket

    What is a Calm Down Basket/Box?

    We all experience moments when we feel stressed, overwhelmed or dysregulated – these feelings are completely normal, all be them unpleasant! A calm down box is a wonderful tool designed to help children (or even adults) manage their emotions, regulate their bodies and minds and build resilience in moments of stress.

    A calm down box is a special place that holds your child’s (or your own) favourite items, specifically chosen to aid in self-regulation. These items help to restore balance by grounding the senses – whether through touch, smell, sight, sound or practicing breathing techniques.

    The Golden Rules of a Calm Down Box:

    • Choose items that are liked and age-appropriate: Make sure the contents are things your child (or you) will enjoy using.
    • Avoid screen-time items: Calm down boxes should not include screens like iPads or gaming devices.
    • Encourage independent play: The purpose of a calm down box is to (eventually) help children self-regulate on their own, so it’s important that the contents promote independent interaction.
    • Model how to use it: If your child is new to using a calm down box, you may need to show them how to engage with the items inside, especially during moments of big emotions (some children will need a longer period of time co-regulating and it is important we support them, so they can eventually self-regulate).

    What to Include in a Calm Down Box:

    If you’re wondering what to add, consider items that encourage repetitive motions or sensory experiences, such as spinning, clicking or rolling. These activities can help children focus and calm their minds. Toys with different textures, sounds and scents can be particularly effective in distracting from overwhelming emotions, helping children refocus and regain a sense of calm.

    What is a Sensory Break?

    A sensory break is a short, intentional pause from regular activities to engage in calming sensory experiences. These breaks are not just for times of stress; they can also be used when a child is feeling calm or happy. The purpose is to teach children valuable self-regulation tools that they can later use during moments of frustration or upset.

    The Benefits of a Calm Down Box and Sensory Breaks:

    A calm down box and sensory breaks offer many benefits, such as:

    • Increased mindfulness: Helping children become more aware of their emotional and physical states.
    • Reduced stress and anxiety: Sensory activities can reduce the impact of stress and encourage relaxation.
    • Improved emotional regulation: Children learn to better manage their emotions, even in challenging situations.
    • Enhanced self-awareness: Through regular practice, children become more in tune with their emotions and how to manage them.

    When we engage with our senses, such as through touch or smell, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) – the body’s natural calming response. This response counteracts the “fight or flight” instinct, reducing heart rate, blood pressure and muscle tension. Sensory breaks also help distract the brain from anxious thoughts, redirecting focus to more calming and restorative experiences.

    A Reminder:

    Younger children may need support and guidance from adults to effectively use their calm down boxes, especially during moments of strong emotions, distress, or dysregulation. It’s important to be patient, offer gentle guidance and make it a practice that encourages emotional growth and resilience.

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  • Let’s Talk about – Self regulation and emotional resilience 

    Let’s Talk about – Self regulation and emotional resilience 

    Supporting Young Children in Developing Emotional Regulation

    Emotional regulation isn’t a skill we’re born with—it’s something we learn over time. In the early years, children’s moods can swing and change massively. Because of this, helping each child learn to self-regulate across a wide range of emotions is one of our most important responsibilities as educators, caregivers or parents.

    The foundations of emotional and cognitive self-regulation are deeply interconnected in the early years and both are essential for behavioural regulation. For young children, this learning process begins with co-regulation—a supportive partnership between child and adult that has both emotional and cognitive aspects.

    Emotionally, co-regulation involves adults modelling calming strategies, naming and talking about feelings and introducing ways to manage them. This helps children begin to recognise their own emotional states and builds their understanding of how to reduce or cope with intense emotions.

    Cognitively, adults can scaffold self-regulation by talking with children about their thinking and learning – helping them pause, reflect and become aware of their thought processes. This early support helps build skills like impulse control, attention, and flexible thinking. It’s also important that adults can model their own thinking processes such as; “I feel sad because” and then what they can do to help themselves “I am going to go for a run because that helps me feel better”, allowing children opportunities to see positive reactions to negative feelings.

    When emotions run very high, they can interfere with a child’s ability to use these cognitive tools. A child overwhelmed by strong feelings may struggle to focus, regulate impulses or think clearly. This is because heightened emotional arousal can overpower the brain’s capacity for logical thought and problem-solving. In these moments, emotional co-regulation must come first – supporting the child in calming down – before they’re ready to reflect or respond thoughtfully to a situation.

    Key Strategies for Co-Regulation

    Researchers have identified three foundational strategies that support effective co-regulation in early childhood. These approaches work together to create the conditions in which children can begin developing their own self-regulation skills.

    1. Positive Relationships
    At the heart of co-regulation is a warm, responsive relationship. When children feel respected, comforted and supported – especially during times of stress – they are more likely to feel safe and understood. Knowing that a trusted adult is consistently there for them builds the emotional security needed to begin regulating their feelings and behaviours.

    2. Enabling Environments
    Children thrive in environments that feel both physically and emotionally safe. A predictable, well-structured space helps reduce unnecessary stress and provides the consistency that young children need. These environments offer space to explore, take risks and try out self-regulation strategies without fear of harsh consequences or confusion.

    3. Learning and Development
    Self-regulation can be taught and strengthened over time. Adults play a key role by modelling calm behaviour, suggesting practical strategies and offering children regular opportunities to practice these skills. Through gentle guidance and scaffolding, children gradually become more confident and capable in managing their emotions, attention and behaviours.

    In Summary

    Supporting emotional regulation in young children is not only about responding to moments of emotional intensity, but also about laying a strong foundation through relationships, environments and daily learning experiences. With consistent, compassionate support, children begin to build the lifelong skills they need to understand, express, and manage their emotions in positive and healthy ways.

    If you’re looking for practical ideas to get started, be sure to check out our Top Tips category – where I have shared simple, effective ways to support emotional regulation every day.

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