Domestic violence or abuse can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. If you’re worried that someone might notice or check on the pages you’ve visited, the Women’s Aid website offers guidance on how to cover your tracks online to protect your privacy.
What is Domestic Violence and Abuse?
Domestic violence, also referred to as domestic abuse, encompasses physical, emotional and sexual abuse that occurs in intimate partner relationships or between family members. It can happen to anyone and unfortunately, anyone can be an abuser.
Getting Help and Support for Domestic Violence
You do not have to wait for an emergency situation to reach out for help. If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, it’s important to talk to someone and remember that you are not alone.
Information and Support Resources:
- For women: Call the Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline run by Refuge at 0808 2000 247, available 24/7, offering confidential, non-judgemental information and support.
- For men: Call Men’s Advice Line at 0808 8010 327 (Mon-Fri 10am-8pm) or visit their webchat (Wed 10am-11:30am & 2:30pm-4pm) for information and support.
- For LGBT+ individuals: Call Galop at 0800 999 5428 for emotional and practical support.
- For forced marriage or honour crimes: Call Karma Nirvana at 0800 5999 247 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) or GOV.UK Forced Marriage Unit at 020 7008 0151.
In emergencies, always call 999. You can also email for support. When emailing, please specify when and how it is safe to respond:
- Women: Email helpline@womensaid.org.uk (staff will reply within 5 working days).
- Men: Email info@mensadviceline.org.uk.
- LGBT+: Email help@galop.org.uk.
The Survivor’s Handbook from Women’s Aid is a free resource that provides essential information about housing, money, children’s support, and legal rights.
If you’re concerned about your own behaviour, the Respect Helpline can provide support. Call 0808 802 4040 for confidential, free advice.
Signs of Domestic Violence and Abuse
Domestic violence is fundamentally about power and control. There are different forms of abuse, and it can be hard to recognise, especially when the abuser acts differently around others. Here are some questions to help you identify potential abuse:
Emotional Abuse:
- Does your partner belittle or put you down?
- Do they blame you for arguments or abuse?
- Do they isolate you from family or friends?
- Do they control your access to money or essential items?
- Do they monitor your social media or invade your privacy?
Threats and Intimidation:
- Are you ever threatened with harm or death?
- Do they destroy your belongings or intimidate you physically?
- Are you ever made to feel fearful of their actions?
Physical Abuse:
- Has your partner slapped, punched, kicked, or physically harmed you?
- Have they ever burned or choked you, or thrown things at you?
Sexual Abuse:
- Have they touched you in ways you didn’t want?
- Are you pressured into unsafe or unwanted sexual activity?
- Are you made to have sex when you don’t want to, even with a partner?
General Signs of Abuse:
- Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?
- Have you changed your behavior out of fear of what they might do?
If you answered “yes” to any of these, you might be in an abusive relationship. Help is available, and you don’t have to face this alone.
Domestic Abuse During Pregnancy
Unfortunately, domestic abuse often increases during pregnancy. If you are pregnant and facing abuse, it can get worse as the relationship dynamics change. It’s essential to seek support, both for your safety and the safety of your unborn child.
If You Decide to Leave
The first step in escaping an abusive situation is realizing that you are not alone, and it’s not your fault. Before leaving, it’s important to get advice and create a safety plan. Some organizations that can help with safety planning are:
- Women’s Aid (for women)
- Men’s Advice Line (for men)
- Galop (for LGBT+)
If you plan to leave, be careful who you tell, and make sure the person abusing you does not find out where you’re going. Women’s Aid provides practical advice on making a safety plan for both men and women.
Signs of Domestic Abuse on Children
Domestic abuse often impacts children who witness it. It’s important to be aware of the signs that a child may be affected:
- Aggression, bullying, or anti-social behavior
- Anxiety, depression, or suicidal thoughts
- Bed-wetting, nightmares, or insomnia
- Frequent sickness or unexplained health issues
- Eating disorders or substance use
- Problems in school or learning difficulties
- Withdrawal or isolation
If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to seek support for both you and your children.
Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children
Children who live in homes with domestic abuse may experience long-term effects on their mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. These impacts can last into adulthood if left unaddressed.
What’s crucial is ensuring that the abuse stops and that children are provided with a safe, stable environment where they can heal.
Support for Adults and Families Affected by Domestic Abuse
There are several support services available:
- Relate: Call 0300 003 0396 for support with relationship issues, including domestic abuse.
- National Domestic Violence Helpline: Call 0808 2000 247 (24/7).
- Men’s Advice Line: Call 0808 801 0327 for men experiencing domestic abuse.
- National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: Call 0800 999 5428 for LGBT+ individuals.
Help for Those Worried About Their Behaviour
If you think you may be abusive, or are concerned about your behaviour, help is available.
You can call NSPCC at 0808 800 5000 or email help@nspcc.org.uk for advice and support.
You can also reach out to Respect at 0808 802 4040 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) for confidential help. Their webchat service is available on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Remember, you are not alone, and help is available. There are professionals who care and can support you through the difficult journey of healing, whether you are experiencing abuse, have witnessed it, or are concerned about your own behaviour.
Take the first step – reach out, ask for help, and know that there is a path to safety, peace and healing.
Guiding The Young Ones 
Leave a comment