Supporting Young Children in Developing Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation isn’t a skill we’re born with—it’s something we learn over time. In the early years, children’s moods can swing and change massively. Because of this, helping each child learn to self-regulate across a wide range of emotions is one of our most important responsibilities as educators, caregivers or parents.
The foundations of emotional and cognitive self-regulation are deeply interconnected in the early years and both are essential for behavioural regulation. For young children, this learning process begins with co-regulation—a supportive partnership between child and adult that has both emotional and cognitive aspects.
Emotionally, co-regulation involves adults modelling calming strategies, naming and talking about feelings and introducing ways to manage them. This helps children begin to recognise their own emotional states and builds their understanding of how to reduce or cope with intense emotions.
Cognitively, adults can scaffold self-regulation by talking with children about their thinking and learning – helping them pause, reflect and become aware of their thought processes. This early support helps build skills like impulse control, attention, and flexible thinking. It’s also important that adults can model their own thinking processes such as; “I feel sad because” and then what they can do to help themselves “I am going to go for a run because that helps me feel better”, allowing children opportunities to see positive reactions to negative feelings.
When emotions run very high, they can interfere with a child’s ability to use these cognitive tools. A child overwhelmed by strong feelings may struggle to focus, regulate impulses or think clearly. This is because heightened emotional arousal can overpower the brain’s capacity for logical thought and problem-solving. In these moments, emotional co-regulation must come first – supporting the child in calming down – before they’re ready to reflect or respond thoughtfully to a situation.
Key Strategies for Co-Regulation
Researchers have identified three foundational strategies that support effective co-regulation in early childhood. These approaches work together to create the conditions in which children can begin developing their own self-regulation skills.
1. Positive Relationships
At the heart of co-regulation is a warm, responsive relationship. When children feel respected, comforted and supported – especially during times of stress – they are more likely to feel safe and understood. Knowing that a trusted adult is consistently there for them builds the emotional security needed to begin regulating their feelings and behaviours.
2. Enabling Environments
Children thrive in environments that feel both physically and emotionally safe. A predictable, well-structured space helps reduce unnecessary stress and provides the consistency that young children need. These environments offer space to explore, take risks and try out self-regulation strategies without fear of harsh consequences or confusion.
3. Learning and Development
Self-regulation can be taught and strengthened over time. Adults play a key role by modelling calm behaviour, suggesting practical strategies and offering children regular opportunities to practice these skills. Through gentle guidance and scaffolding, children gradually become more confident and capable in managing their emotions, attention and behaviours.
In Summary
Supporting emotional regulation in young children is not only about responding to moments of emotional intensity, but also about laying a strong foundation through relationships, environments and daily learning experiences. With consistent, compassionate support, children begin to build the lifelong skills they need to understand, express, and manage their emotions in positive and healthy ways.
If you’re looking for practical ideas to get started, be sure to check out our Top Tips category – where I have shared simple, effective ways to support emotional regulation every day.
Guiding The Young Ones 
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